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August 29, 2006 : Welcome to BlondeLilTike.com!

Hey, everyone, I am James, the designer and programmer behind Blonde Li’l Tike. AKA The Boyfriend. This site is almost ready for launch, and you’ll notice over the next couple days content will start appearing in the proper places. I will be around sometimes with design and programming announcements, but you can find me over that the Gates of Hell all the time.

Update: The Photo page is up with some photos, and more will come when I show BLT how to do it herself. These are from my collection. :D Also, the Photo Feed at the bottom is active, and the About and Blonde page placeholders are up. The next thing to do is the article page and comment form.

Update 2: I have the article pages fixed now, and the comment form needs a styling job now.

September 01, 2006 : Black bear

How was your summer? My summer was awesome. Spent time with friends, family, and boyfriend named James. Did any of you go away for summer vacation if so where? I went to black bear with my parents. My black bear is in Wisconsin (up north). We stay in Eagle River. We stay at what is similar to an apartment complex ehehehehehe I have my own room and bathroom. This trip I went fishing, boating, swimming, praying, and lots of reading. Thank you Mom and Dad for such a fun trip! Here are some pictures (I will add the pictures a little bit later tonight.

~Blonde lil tike :)

September 14, 2006 : God give me strength

HiGod!

I need you right now because I feel so stressed out and like I keep making people dissappointed. One being my Mom and Dad. My Mom she doen’t think I am doing as well with homework. She wants me to hang out less with my friends and more with my school work. I do what else does she want from me God? I keep trying to get by inbetwwen school work and classes but, sometimes it feels like it’s too much. I just ask you Lord to help me get by this school year. Instead of my falling Lord I want to be caught in your arms God. I want to be near you. I know I can’t make everyone happy. I try to be the best person that I can. I don’t like getting mad. I know it’s normal, but it bothers me. When your mad you say things you don’t mean and I don’t want to say anything that gets people mad. I don’t want to hurt others. Sorry if this hurts you I’m not trying to. Thank you Lord for listening! I Love You! In Jesus name amen.

BLT

ps now I must get some rest for my quiz tomorrow! goodnight

October 10, 2006 : Crazy and Amazed

Hey Everyone,

Sorry I haven’t posted in a while. I just started swim team last Monday which was kind of crazy. Keep in mind it is still crazy. I don’t know whether or not I am going to stay with it yet because right now I feel stressed out on and off. Recently I have gained a cold in some form. Oppps. Oh well going to have to do the best I can. This past weekend was a lot of fun. I spent time with my friends and family. On Sunday we went out to eat after church (I saw my friend Jenny at church!) with my family in celebration of my sister’s and Mom’s birthday. Hehehehehe it was a lot of fun! I Love my family! I then went back to the house and hung out there for a while. Then after that my boyfriend and I went to see the Guardian with my friend Jess, Mark, and Jason. The movie didn’t end until 10 or so and we were hungry so we went out to Dennys. Good food and lots of it. We met some more of my friends Laura and Peter. We had a great time. I can’t wait to see them again. That night I found out a friend who is a born again Christian which rocks! Priase report! Well I hope everything is good with you guys! I will be praying for you all. Love You all! Later!

~BLT

November 15, 2006 : Thankful!

Hey Everyone!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING! I know it is not here yet, but still we should be thankful everyday for something. Even if we don’t have clothes, or a computer, or a family you still got GOD and LIFE! Which is amazing how if you lost everything you still have God! I am very thankful to have God in my life! I am very thankful for a lot of things for instance family and friends. Of course, James being part of my life. I thank my parents for taking me into their home when I needed a family. I thank God for saving me so many times. I am also thankful for my people in my life that guide me and challenge me! Taught me what I know today! I pray for those who feel like they don’t have anything. Well, guess what those you don’t think they have anything you have just gained two friends God and me. I pray that you find something to be thankful for. As well as having a great Thanksgiving Day! I even encourage you to write what you are thankful for here on this site in this site as a comment! Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

BLT

January 10, 2007 : Valentines day is soon on it's way ! ...........Already

Hey! What are you thinking of doing for your loved one? Do you have ideas! Don’t worry if you don’t have any ideas you still have a little bit more than a month to plan. I do, but I am still discussing with myself on which ideas. ehehehehe of course I can’t say them because it would just spoil the surprise of things. All I know is that I have some ideas. ??? HHHHMMMMMM.......... ;) hehehhe

BLT

May 01, 2007 : What is going on recently! End of the year!

Coming soon!

May 31, 2007 : Up North

We (My parents and I) have recently spent time fishing, horse back riding, and canoeing down the Wisconsin river which was amazing. It took about three to four hours of paddling and wind wasn’t helping. Which let me tell you it was a great exercise. We have also done fishing almost every day. Sorry to say I smell like fish from it even though I shower so much here. The only thing that kills that smell is swimming in a pool! I can live with that cure. hehehe Well as my trip goes on I will add more to this blog but, for now it is and time to read and fish.

May 01, 2007 : Looking in a mirror!

It’s crazy how many people have so many secrets or hidden past. Or even a sin that you need to come clean with. Maybe you still need to come to Jesus with it or maybe a loved one. Or even a friend. I am hear to tell you that each one of us sins. We are not always going to be able to repent of sin because we are human and we have sinful hearts. Of course, this is where Christ comes in however, that sin and evil still haunts. It might even wake you from your dreams or happen in your dreams. I know that I have been going through this. I have recently opened my heart with that sin. Jesus already knows and he still loves me which is amazing because sometimes you get so angry with your self that just looking in the mirror spooks you because it shows you the truth (You see the truth). I am here to tell you that Jesus does love us everyone of us. He is never giving up on us never! I will also tell you that I felt like the holy spirit wanted me to talk about with my boyfriend and it was time. I know it’s not hard to talk but, if you feel like someone has put your hand on your shoulder and just lead you to talk to them do it. It might be hard, you might be embarrassed but, hey what sin isn’t embarrassing. I truly wanted to be honest with myself and with others. I based this article from the song Courage by the group Super Chicks. Of course, it talks about a girl having an eating disorder however, the most improtant thing that stuck out to me was when it said this:

I need you to know
I’m not through the night
Some days I’m still fighting to walk towards the light
I need you to know
That we’ll be ok
Together we can make it through another day

You should know you’re not on your own
These secrets are walls that keep us alone
I don’t know when
But I know now
Together we’ll make it through somehow
Together we’ll make it through somehow

THEWHOLE SONG:

Lyrics: I told another lie today And I got through this day No one saw through my games

I know the right words to say
Like I don’t feel well
I ate before I came

Then someone tells me how good I look
And for a moment
For a moment I am happy

But when I’m alone
No one hears me cry

CHORUS
I need you to know
I’m not through the night
Some days I’m still fighting to walk towards the light
I need you to know
That we’ll be ok
Together we can make it through another day

I don’t know the first time I felt unbeautiful
The day I chose not to eat
What I do know is how I changed my life forever
I know I should know better

There are days when I’m ok
And for a moment
For a moment I find hope

But there are days when I�m not ok
And I need your help
So I’m letting go

CHORUS

You should know you’re not on your own
These secrets are walls that keep us alone
I don’t know when
But I know now
Together we’ll make it through somehow
Together we’ll make it through somehow

May 01, 2007 : Numb

I have one more point to say and that is that we need to notice how numb we are to violence. It took another even like Virgina tech to wake us up however, the wake up call doesn’t last very long which is a problem. We used to have in horror movies all boo tactics now we actually have to see the women be cut open and torn apart. So, notice what happens around you and try and let others know that we are numb. We don’t take things as serious any more. We laugh and make jokes. Some of us do drinking or drugs to make the pain numb in our lives. But in the morning you are going to wake up and feel the pain and this is important. It is your choice whether you become numb to the violence or take a stand and try and stop the violence. Now, you are probably thinking stop the violence yeah right how can I do that. Tell the people around you if you here them talk about such violent acts tell them to not to that and talk to them. Try and point out things to them. If you notice people making fun of someone take a stand. I know it’s hard because I am usually the one just watching but, I can no longer watch! Most of all if you know that someone is suicidal or has huge issue that you feel is getting out of hand talk to an adult or a counselor. Trust me you don’t want to wake up the next morning and find out your friend is dead. Besides if they are pointing and showing signs to you it’s a cry for help whether they want to Emmit it or not it is.

May 01, 2007 : Beauty from Pain -Virginia Tech

On April wed. 18 the students and staff had a memorial service after a boy took a gun and killed some of his fellow students and staff. Why? I am sure many of you are asking. The boy must have had somethings set him off. Of course, over time it all came out. One big thing I have to say is that this boy maybe had a hard life, and physiologically affected him. I also know that the boy was lost and messed up physiologically. Some of the videos I am sure many of you have seen however, evil I believe is right behind what happened. Evil corrupts so many things. Which is why you need to talk to God when you feel lost or confused. Certain things in our lives no matter what it is changes and affects us and who we are. Certain things happen to each of us but, it can makes us stronger. Now I know that what happened that day wasn’t a good thing at all but, there was good in that. There was certain people with certain gifts that helped people get out of the building. Such as the one teacher who survived the holocaust. Did you ever think that he survived the holocaust so that he may say the class? God does amazing things and sometimes we aren’t quite sure why but, maybe just maybe this teacher was meant to be saved from the holocaust to save his class. There is a reason for why things happen and why you are here. Why? Maybe the question why is not supposed to answered yet. Maybe we aren’t supposed to know until God wants us to know. Or maybe your like yeah but, I talked to him why isn’t he answering. Well, there are times where he isn’t going to hand feed us he gives us signs instead that get us where we should be. Where God wants us to be. I feel that this day will make a lot of you stronger. You can make it. There is still hope! Another thing is something like this brings people closer together. Sadly it took something painful to turn it into something beautiful. There might be some beauty in the pain after all. Just look for the good in things and I know it’s hard I am still learning it. I think though it’s a continuous process trying to find beauty from pain.

This article was based off the song from Super Chicks! Song titled Beauty from Pain! Here are the lyrics!

Lyrics: The lights go out all around me One last candle to keep out the night And then the darkness surrounds me I know I’m alive But I feel I like I died

And all that’s left is to accept that it’s over
My dreams ran like sand through the face that I made
I try to keep on but I just grow colder
I feel like I’m slipping away

CHORUS
After all this has passed
I still will remain
After I’ve cried my last
There’ll be beauty from pain
Though it won’t be today
Someday I’ll hope again
And I’ll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

My whole world is the pain inside me
The best I can do is just get through the day
When life before is only a memory
I wonder why God lets me walk through this place

And though I can’t understand why this happened
I know I will when I look back someday
And see how You’ve brought beauty from ashes
And made me as gold purified through these flames

CHORUS

Here I am at the end of me
Trying to hold to what I can�t see
I forgot how to hope
This night’s been so long
I cling to your promise there will be a dawn

CHORUS

February 09, 2007 : Diversity Chat!

Ok, so a little while ago I went to what Benedictine called a diversity chat. It was amazing. I loved every bit of it. We talked about people such as Gundy (Late can’t spell anymore) who needed Justice before he could have peace. This is a very interesting take on things. I never would have thought of it that way until he said it. We also discussed some ways we could spread diversity. We also talked about why people are so afraid of other cultures and diversity’s. I have learned from others here at Benedictine that they think it would be to hard to be with or even living with someone from a different culture. Which I find rather funny because to me I didn’t find it that difficult I found it rather fun. Of course, she did move out a while ago and yeah that bothers me but, I understand. That doesn’t mean that I am never going to talk to a different race or culture ever again. Who knows I might still try to live with someone next year from a different country. The experience is really great. I think more people should try and do the same. The other thing we talked about was the way bigger corporations are shutting down little food shops. For example, in Chicago there is a Wal-Mart and it is causing a lot of problems with the other smaller individual stores around it. Which I also didn’t really think about the smaller, more individual stores around it. I don’t think a lot of us do. Maybe just maybe reading this article you might keep this in mind.

February 09, 2007 : Love is worth fighting for.

coming soon!

March 26, 2007 : Guide me!

Hey Lord,

A lot has been going on with me Lord. At times I feel the holy spirit just guiding me along in my life. It’s this amazing feeling. At other times I feel guilty for not being the best Christian that I know I can be. I just ask you Lord if you could please guide me. Help me see your ways. Also Lord I have been going through some hard times with people and my relationships with those people. I keep praying Lord that you guide me on the right path because I don’t know what else to do. Sometimes I feel like well, maybe I need to just take a step back a while from the relationships so that I may see the corrections that need to be made. Do I really say what my heart tells me? I know I do, but I think when it comes to such things such as anger or sad I’m afraid. I’m afraid to show those feelings. Lord just help me speak about my feelings more whether it be with my parents, family, friends or even my boyfriend. Not only do I ask that you help me with those feelings but, just take them away Lord before they overwhelm me. Don’t get me wrong I Love being able to help or work with other people and how they feel. I know that I meet certain people in my life for a reason but, why? To me I figured out that I am supposed to help others by using my gifts for which God has given me. Other times we aren’t supposed to know why we are meeting the other people in your life. All you know is that you are happy about it and that is all that matters. Is that all that matters? How do you know when you are ready for that relationship? For me I don’t always know but, I try and have faith in my relationships. You know God the other relationship I have been needing to fix is the one I have with you. I don’t study the bible much at all anymore. The only times I actually pick it up is when I am in church. That’s it. I want to do more Lord. I want to open the bible and just start reading the verses. I not only want to read them but, understand them. Sure I have been doing many other things like watching television, going to movies, and school but, what about you Lord? This is what I keep asking myself. I don’t want to find myself falling away from you. I want more of you. Please Lord guide me! My Life is in your hands. So, Lord whatever your plans are for me whatever you want me to do with my Life just stay with me Lord because I can’t lose you. I won’t! I won’t allow myself! Thank you Lord for guiding me, giving me life, giving me faith, giving me an amazing life, forgiveness of my sins, and most of all being there for me! :) So lord please help me in my relationships with others. In Jesus name, AMEN

January 10, 2007 : Winter Training

AAAAAHHHHHHH! Okay, so I am on the swim team as you might already know. I am doing ten days of hard core work outs. I am now doing about 6,000-8,000yds a day. However, on Monday we could not use the pool because it was it was not ready for us chemically wise. So instead we had to do on land trainer which made everyone very soar. It still does. It especially hurts since we had to increase our weight lifting amount today. So walking has become a challenge. We only have a day and a half left to go! YEAH!

February 09, 2007 : Boggled

So, hi everyone I hope everything is going ok! Recently things have been getting to me easily. Now part of that has a lot to do with girl things and parts of it have always been me. See I realize now more then ever that I have some big problems in my life. Some spirituality, some balancing life, and some family issues. All this is right now weighing me down. The only time it really hits me is when I am expecting things like the time of the month. I know I am actually talking of girl issues. Crazy isn’t? Well, see I think more and more I feel like lost in certain parts in my life. Sometimes it just doesn’t make sense and will it I don’t know. It’s in God’s hands. Sometime in my life I learned to bottle things in. I don’t know if I started when my cuz was with us or when I lost my foster sister. These are probably the top two cases where I had to be strong because my Mom was weak and needed support from my Dad. I don’t blame them! Not at all! I blame myself for not learning to open up and talk about my issue, I didn’t want to burden anyone. Recently I have been trying to talk. It’s not easy because I usually can handle it, but things they build up just like anything else wither it’s love, anger. Either or both, they can just built if you let it….know that is the key. If you let it. How do you not let it?.... Now, I am big on the past in way because it effects you and it does to each and everyone of us. WE NEED TO LEARN THAT! And yeah sometimes you will say stupid thing or do stupid things, and some people don’t find that their past is a good enough excuse. No, it’s not a good excuse, but it does effects us. WE ALL EFFECT EACH OTHER! I don’t know, but maybe I think I don’t want to effect others if I talk about whatever is bothering me. Funny how the world works isn’t it. How much one thing or many things can effects whether positive or negative. See I well give you a little more of a preview of what is going on in my life. One thing I mentioned was spiritually. Well, right now I feel like my bond with God is strained. One reason for that is b/c of the church issue and the other is that I haven’t felt his presence(I also haven’t studied in a while). I feel like l am trapped between two doors. One person opening the house door the other opening the screen door. Now I know this situation isn’t easy for anyone, not my family, b/f, friends. It sure isn’t easy for me. I feel like tossing in the towel and saying God just take me away. Just for a little while. Now, I say that because I can’t be in this presence of shadows. I need the light to keep seeing. God is everything to me. What isn’t he…now theirs the question.ehehehe I need to spend more time with him and it isn’t working so well. Now, I know one day it will be easier and I pray for that day because I feel like it’s causing strain in our relationships like I said. Pulled in two directions and both a little bit lost in. My other thing is balancing everything school, hmwk, and swimming. Luckily, swimming will be over soon and I can just maybe take a breather from all this. Clear my head! I am definitely looking for that day to come. Take Care everyone! Have a good night!

BLT

January 10, 2007 : Christmas Break

Okay, sorry I haven’t written much in a while. It’s been really crazy these past few weeks. First of I would like to say that Christmas was very fun. It great seeing the family and watching my nieces and nephews play with their new toys. I also spent some time with my sister, Carolyn who has a disability. We spent one morning after church playing catch. It was great because I haven’t done that in a while. I have been meaning too I was just too lazy to do it I think. This isn’t a good excuse because she is my sister. I love her. I think that it is very important to spend time with family in general. Next, I also spent a day with my dad and a day with my Mom. With my dad we went to go see the new James Bond movie which was really good. I recommend that movie. When I spent time with my Mom we have a spa day going. Fun girl things!
Now, a few days later I left on last Friday of December and drove with my parents to St. Louis area where James was staying. We spent time with his family (I even got to spend time with his Grandparents) which was great because I don’t have Grandparents anymore to really visit. We went to go see the lights at Our Lady of the Snow (Beautiful show case of lights). We also went to the zoo. Yeah turtles! hehehe I really have to say one more thing on here about spending time with the Finley’s. Thank You so much for everything you have done for me and my parents. I had the most wonderful time. :)

November 15, 2006 : Coming up to breath

Hey everyone,

Wow! Has it been a while. Sorry things have been really crazy! I have been trying so hard so balance everything out and I’m struggling. It really hit me again when I was trying to finish my second 200 in the water I just stopped and broke. It hit me recently that I having been talking or spending time with God as much. I needed to really bad. See for me I have been having a really difficult time keeping control of my emotions I guess you could say. I either get really sad or I am just fine. Now when the sadness hits I feel like I don’t want to be here and I know that that feeling is just because of girl issues. I have been doing better now that I brought it up more with God. See when this hits me and I start about it to people I feel like I am burdening them or something of the sort. Which is why I have decided to just give it to God no one else unless I feel like I really need to. In this case I know things will be better it just needs God and time. I know that we need to share how we feel with others and I understand that but, I think I need to put on a limit to where I notice hey me this me that when I could care less about how I feel. I care about others and God. Now sure I guess if I am not doing good how can I take of others? That is what you need to do. Take care of yourself to the point of where it fixes the problem not to bragging about your problems because lets face it there are a lot of problems out there! And more are only going to come I can tell you that right now. So I ask you this if you feel like you are losing yourself and you feel like throwing in the towel don’t fight though it. If their is one thing I learned a fews years ago is that if you give up your life or on something what does Jesus Death mean? So, this is what I have been working on now is getting organized and making time for God. I need to and of course you should just randomly pray to God. That is what I did yesterday! Well, I pray everyone is well! Take Care! Oh yeah happy late Halloween ehehehehe!

BLT

September 13, 2006 : I am now a college student!

Hey college is really great! I was really nervous in the beginning and now I feel more comfortable. I am joining the Campus Crusades for Christ! I am also planning on joining swim team here at Ben. I haven’t figured out how all of this is going to work because I am mostly doing homework. I don’t have so much time to mess around which is why I have been having a hard time posting. I haven’t even really had time to email my friends. Sorry! :( I will try my best to though. For those of you who don’t know I live with someone from Taiwan. Her name is Tina. We get along great. She is like another sister. I Love learning about her culture. Soon we are going to go shopping for things for our room shelves and decorations. Recently here at Ben our second floor painted a wall. I will post the picture wants I get my camera from home. When you look at the picture you will see two roses and a butterfly. The body of a butterfly is a cross (on its side). Well hope everything is going well! Take Care!

~Blondeliltike

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